|—||me every time there is a cat regardless of the situation (via circumcising)|
part of me wants to do really well in school and get an amazing job and the other part of me just wants to lie on the floor and do nothing ever because i’m gonna die in the end anyway
(pitched to different “gender”)
Sorry for low-tier quality, I just really wanted to hear what this would sound like.
You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train
Lifehack: Accidentally text the wrong person? Immediately put your phone on airplane mode and once it fails to deliver, delete the message.
This can save lives
Fact: blankets keep you safe at night. We dont know what from, but they are definitely an immunity against something.
a strip club but instead of naked women its cute dogs that you give dog treats to for them to do tricks
i told a boy i liked his hair today in class and he laughed a little and could hardly say “thanks” and then buried his head in his hands the second i turned around i think i made him flustered omg
when a good url is taken by a shitty blog